What Couldn't Be
by Autumn1121
Summary: Japan talks to Greece, he confesses his love, but Greece already has a lover.    An rp I did with naps-in-history. Rated T because it is sad and I almost cried while we were rping this. DO NOT OWN HETALIA


"What a boring day" the Japanese man thought to himself. "Hey, Japan. I haven't seen you in quite a while. Are you feeling alright?" Greece asked. "I am doing fine, I just mostly have been with my cat and staying home." Japan stated as he walked along with the Greek. "You wouldn't happen to be isolating yourself again, would you?" he asked with a concerned look on his face. "I wouldn't call it isolating." he said trying to avoid the Greek's stare. "I just haven't seen many people and I didn't want to interrupt you." Heracles raised his eyebrow at the shorter nation. "Normally, it would be a good thing to at least talk to someone. Why do you think you'd interrupt me? Is it because I nap to much?" he asked.

"I wouldn't want to bother you while you look so peaceful and cute." He quickly realized what he said and a pink tint washed over his face.

Heracles blushed and quickly looked away. "I-I'm not the cute one. You are," he stammered. Boy, did he have a sweet spot for Japan. Kiku blushed and tried not to look at Heracles, he was failing. He did love to look at the Greek, he was to different from himself, he was beautiful, tan, and muscular. "Oh, I, umm, thank you, Heracles-san." "You're welcome," he smiled. "However, you should take care not to lock yourself away in your home anymore and feel free to come to me. I'm not the most entertaining person, but I could provide some company for you at least."

"Thank you, Heracles-san. It _would_ be nice to have someone to be with. And you always seem to have have adorable cats." The Japanese man stated. It was unlike him to impose on another, but he felt like it was okay with Greece. He didn't seem like a huge burden on him.

"Many of them are adorable, but not all. Each cat has a different personality. They're like children to me, really," he laughed. "It makes me question whether or not I even want children. Do you want children?" Kiku thought for awhile before answering, did he want children, and if so, with whom? "I am not really sure, but if I did, it wouldn't be soon." he stated. "But remember the way the cats look when they are sleeping and curled up with you, it makes up for the time they coughed up a hairball or scratched the chair." He stopped to think about how cute the Greek's child would be. "The cats make it easy to forgive, but like children, you have to discipline them properly. I'm sure that's something you're very good at, right?" Greece asked with a hint of a smirk on his face. "It's a shame you won't be having kids soon. Your children would be cute," he sighed.

"If anything you would be good at discipline. Hmm, I never thought about having a kid before now." I wonder if we could have a kid what she would look like? He thought to himself. "I don't have anyone to have the kid with, Greece-san, the closest person I have is you." He blushed knowing he could be so close to the Greek without fear.

"Well," the Greek man blushed. "I'm not sure how we could have children. I'm pretty sure we're both men, right? I mean even if we could change just to bring a child into this world, it would be a lot of commitment and responsibility and…" he trailed off as a dark blush graced his cheeks. Unfortunately, he wasn't thinking about the child anymore. He was thinking… of marriage. "I know." he said while looking away blushing. "But it it true, you are the closest thing I have." He said avoiding the Greek's face, knowing if he saw it he would blush more. "But Heracles-san," he started trying to look at the Greek, "Why is your face so dark? Are you okay?" "M-My face is dark?" Greece asked placing his hands on his cheek. "I don't know why that is, but I'm flattered that you consider me so close. Although, Japan, your face is red. Is it possible that you're getting sick?" he asked, worried for the other nation.

"I think we both have a red face." Japan said laughing quietly to himself and placed his hand over Greece's. "Children do require a lot of commitment and responsibility, hopefully one day we will be able to see a child come into this world together." He knew his face must be as red as a tulip.

"I know why I have a red face, but why do you. You're always quite composed. I should also ask, will the child be mine, yours or…. ours?" Greece said with a gentle smile. "I am composed, but I tend to blush a lot, especially when talking about things like this." he said trying to think of an answer. "The child would have your eyes, my hair, and be chasing cats by her first birthday." he didn't want to say the child would be theirs, be he knew he wanted her to be. He loved the idea of having a kid with him, he was just too afraid to say it straight to his face. "How can you be sure the child will be female?" Greece asked skeptically. Turkey's face had been in the back of his mind, squeezing towards the front bit by bit. What would their child look like? He mentally slapped himself. He should be focusing on Japan at the moment. "Also, why would she look like us?"

"Well, I have always wanted a little girl, Autumn." he admitted. "Autumn is such a beautiful time." He didn't know how to respond to his question, but he knew he wanted a daughter with Greece. "Like I said I am the closest with you, so I find it hard to picture my child with a face different than ours together." he said blushing at the thought of them having a child together.

"Oh, I see. Autumn is a beautiful name and I'm sure our features would make a beautiful child. I have to wonder, though, would you be disappointed if your partner wasn't me?" he asked curiously. "I have never been closer to anyone else, as of now you are the only one I can see as that person." he said seriously. He couldn't believe they were having this conversation, he has wanted to for so long. Greece thought about this for a moment. "The only person you see or the only person you _want_ to see, Japan?" he asked. It was perhaps too direct, but he wanted to to know.

"I-I think you are the only one I want to see as that person." he said in a voice that sounded like a child's whisper. "I love you Heracles Karpusi"

"I love you, Japan, but I'm sorry. I already have a lover and I don't want to separate from him," Greece said, looking at his feet. This was wrong. Hurting Japan, any Japan was wrong. "I am sorry, I shouldn't have said anything. I didn't mean to cause anything. I-I'll go home." Japan left wanting to cry but knowing he already opened up way too much today. _Maybe I should just go back into isolation, _he thought_. I wouldn't get hurt that way. That is what happens when I open up to another country._ Greece chased after him and enveloped him in a hug. "Japan, I'm sorry," he sad as tears stung his eyes. "I didn't want to hurt you. I do love you, I just… I can't…" he said in a loss for words. He hoped the other nation could understand him, forgive him, or just anything that didn't involve hating him. "I love you." "I love you, I cannot hate you. You love me, but you can't." Japan is fighting back tears, he is trying to understand, he wants to, but can't. "I guess you can see why I stay isolated. It is easier on my heart that way." he knows he is completely different, but love does that to people. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry," he replies. His tears fell onto the other man's shoulder. "But I love you. I still love you. You understand that, right? Please don't stay isolated. You'll hurt yourself more. I'd rather see you happy with someone else than hurting yourself!" he exclaimed between sobs.

"Heracles-san, the thing is, I can't see myself with anyone else, I can't be with anyone else. You are the one I love. I can't be happy with someone else." Tears finally dropped from his watery eyes. "I won't be hurting myself, don't worry." he said as he tries to steady his breathing. He knows being isolated would hurt Greece, but after today, after the false hope and the heartbreak, Japan needed to be isolated for years. He needed to be alone.

Greece slowly released Japan from his hug. He wouldn't forget it, no matter how bitter it was. "You tell me not to worry, but I worry more. You say that you won't hurt yourself, but I can't be sure of it. You'll lock yourself up because of me, but not everyone will hurt you that way. I don't deserve you, Kiku," Greece sighed heavily. He just cries more. "You don't get it, Heracles-san, you can say you don't deserve me, you can say you love me, you can say anything. But I understand now, you love someone else more." The tears are still falling, but he is doing his best to stay under control. "I will still see my child with your eyes and your love of cats." He breathes in deep, calming and trying to control himself. Shock and regret were clearly displayed on Greece's face. His heart was torn to pieces right in front of him. He'd chosen one person over the other and now he'd have to live with it. Yet, the thought of Autumn running around and playing with cats and being with Japan for the rest of his life claws at his conscience. He felt like a child who shut the door on fairy tales because his parents told him they weren't real, but he knew inside that they could have been. "I'm sorry," he muttered. He wanted to punch himself, but that was all he could say. He felt useless to console the person he loved. "It's okay,Hercles-san." Japan was heartbroken, but he did want Greece to be happy, and if that meant for him to be with someone else, then that is what it was. "I'll be fine, really." he said with another tear falling. Saying that made him hurt more. Greece was silent for a moment and pulled Kiku into another hug. "Please don't lie. It really doesn't suit you," he said. "I know it's wrong of me to say this and continue to hurt you, but I do love you and I still want you to come to me and see me as your friend. If you need some space, then I understand, but please don't isolate yourself again." He rested his head on the Greek. He didn't want to go, he knew that, but he couldn't stay here, he couldn't continue to look at the Greek. "Who? Who is it?" he asked knowing the answer would hurt him. Heracles ruffled Japan's hair slightly, happy to even hear the other man's voice, but his question stunned the Greek man. Why would he want to know such a thing? "Kiku, I… I really don't think that's a good idea. Are you sure you want to know?" he asked.

"I-I need to know who I am losing you to." he said. Japan knew whoever it was was lucky to have him, but he hated them for taking him away.

Greece sighed heavily knowing that he owed Japan the whole truth. "It's…." he started only to bite down on his lip. It didn't feel right to tell Japan that he had fallen for his enemy, but he knew he had to. "It's Turkey," he said finally. "I knew it." he whispered quietly to himself. "You two hated each other, why now?" he asked. Japan knew it couldn't have been anyone else, Sadiq and himself were the two closest to Heracles. "I'm not sure…" he said. "It just happened when I took his mask one day. He confessed to me and I felt the same way. I couldn't say no. I really love him," he answered, still holding Japan.

"But I confess to you and I am too late." Japan wanted to die right there. The one he loved had loved someone else. He wanted to scream at the Greek, but he couldn't, not only because it was unlike him, but because he loved him. He loved him and it tore him up inside.

"I-I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say. I've already told you the truth," he said, desperation could be heard clearly in his voice. Greece couldn't help but hold Japan tighter. He wanted Japan to be angry or do something, but he was afraid of the reaction he would receive. "The truth, it hurts more coming from the one you love." he said. He was held tightly, but barely holding the Greek. Tears rolled down his face. "The truth, it's funny how painful it can be, don't you think?" "Yeah, I know what you mean," he said. Heracles was still hurt about telling the truth. He could only imagine how terrible it was for Japan to hear it and not be able to do anything about it at all. "Would you like me to let you go?" he asked.

"No, I want to be in your arms. That is where I thought it was safe and where I will always want to be. Even though I won't be able to." Having the Greek hold him was the closest thing he had to comfort right now, even though he couldn't bring himself to hug him back.

"Okay," the Greek man said simply. He wanted to hold japan as long as he could. He had a feeling that he wouldn't be able to for a long time. "You can hug me back if you'd like." "I can't. You cannot be with me, why do that to myself?" he knew it hurt him and Greece saying that, but it didn't feel right. He knew nothing would happen, so why bother. It would only bring up his hopes just to have them crushed again. "Alright, I'll just stay here and hold you then." Greece whispered to the man and kissed the top of this head. "I still love you, Kiku."

"How? How is it possible that you could still love me? I have made you feel terrible, I am not worth your love." he knew he was speaking the truth. He couldn't understand how Greece could still love him, it just didn't seem right.

"I would have felt terrible either way, it's not your fault," he protested. "Don't ever think any of this was your fault when it's clearly mine. I don't deserve you. I don't deserve any part of you. I hurt you," he rubbed the back of Japan's head as he spoke. "Greece-san, don't blame yourself, I was the one who took to long to listen to my heart, I was the one who couldn't bring myself to tell you earlier, I was the one who wanted you and Turkey-san to get along." he knew it was his fault, he couldn't let Greece fell any worse than he already does, it isn't his fault, it was Japan's. "It's not your fault at all. Turkey had been close to me even though we were enemies," Greece tried to explain, but he wasn't making any sense even to himself. "It's not your fault for wanting to get along. You did it out of the goodness of your heart. What happened was unfortunate. Please don't blame yourself," he said in mild shock that Japan would even blame himself for a thing like that.

"I can't do this, I can't handle this." he said putting his head on the Greek. "Crying won't help, nothing will help me, I have lost you and I can't get you back." He starts crying more, tears just fall, he has no control over them, they just appear even when he doesn't want them to. He wanted to show Heracles he was a strong nation.

Greece held Japan tighter and continued smoothing the back of his head. "Crying helps, Japan. Just let it all out," Greece whispered to the other nation. He couldn't counter anything else Japan had said. He loved Japan, but he wanted to be with Turkey for a very long time if forever was impossible. "This is not how I wanted my day to go. I wanted to be with you today, not even as partners, just friends. Now I won't be able to ever have you the same way again. I could never ask you to leave Turkey-san, you love him more than you love me, and I wouldn't be able to live with myself knowing you would not be happy. I will never have Autumn, for she would only remind me of today." he gave a small laugh at himself for even saying that, but it was true. He fell to the floor with Greece still holding him, the tears fell once more. Greece knelt as Japan fell, but still held him close. "I'm sure your children will be beautiful even if they're with someone else and even if they aren't Autumn. Your children will be just like you and they will have all the love in the world!" the Greek exclaimed.

"But they won't have the love of you, which _is_ all of the love in the world." Japan said. He didn't want children now, the only name he had really loved was Autumn. If he ever did have her, looking at her would be too painful. He wouldn't do that to his child, so his solution was to not have one.

"Of course I will love them! They are part of you and I love you, Japan," he explained. He understood Japan's pain, but he couldn't stand the man wallowing in it. Japan had always been so strong. "You don't love me." he said painfully. "I am sick of being strong, I have been for too long. I can't take it anymore. I am human like everyone else, I can't stand being a strong country anymore! I just want a normal life with no pain and no way for me to be hurt." "That's… not possible," Greece said. He released Japan from his tight hug and stood up. "If you're so convinced that I don't love you, perhaps it's best if I left," he said. He could have at least tried to comfort the other man, but his comment had triggered a cold response from him.

"No, don't leave." he cried, he didn't want him to go. He never wanted any of this to happen. "I never wanted to hurt you, I never wanted to make you go." Japan stood up and wanted to kiss the Greek, but he knew it wasn't a smart idea. "I just don't feel loved, I know you love me, you just love Turkey-san more. And it hurts, it feels like you have turned against me. I just, I just, I don't know."

"I haven't turned against you in the least. I wish you could see that. I'm sorry I hurt you and I won't leave, but please calm down. It hurts me more to see you like this. In all this pain…" he sighed and reached for Japan's hand, but stopped midway.

_I understand that with love comes pain, but why did I have to love you so much? _he though to himself. He looked down at Greece's hand, moving for his then stopping. He knew it hurt them both to be like this.

Greece sighed and slowly stepped further away from Japan. "I'm sorry, I know that you don't want me to leave, but I don't know what else I can do for you. I love you, but you're telling me that I don't. You're telling me you can't hug me back when that's what I wanted from you. I know I'm asking too much, but as my friend… please just tell me what you want from me," he groaned. Something snapped in Japan. He looked into the Greek's eyes, walked up to him, and gave him the best hug he could muster after today. He wanted to give Greece the hug he wanted, he wanted to forget everything that happened, he wanted his friend. "I am sorry, I will try to be different, I will try to be better. I am just confused, please help me." Greece took a deep breath and embraced the Japanese man. He still couldn't stand seeing Japan this weak. "You don't need to try to be different. I love you the way you are. We just can't be together…. that's all," Greece gulped. He didn't want to have to repeat those painful things, but if it helped Japan, he would continue to do so.

"I am starting to understand." his breathing is now under control and he isn't crying. "I will be strong." He knew he wanted Greece to be happy. He rested his head on the Greek's shoulder, "I am sorry for what I put you through."

"As long as you understand, then I'll be fine. You won't have to worry about me," he replied in a soothing voice. Turning his head slightly, he kissed the top of Japan's head.

"But I will." he knew he would always worry about him, if his lover is Turkey then he knew that he should be worried. He was happy to feel the Greek's lips touch him, even if it wasn't a kiss on his lips, the kiss was still nice. He pressed his face into his shoulder, the smell of Heracles was enough to make his crazy. He loved being this close to him, it was comforting. He needed the comfort now, he was better but still sad.

A low chuckle erupted him the Greek's throat. Japan's action tickled his shoulder quite a bit. "Japan, there's nothing to worry about. I really don't think Turkey would hurt me and even if he did, I have a wonderful friend who will take care of me. Now, tell me, what are you doing to my shoulder?" he asked.

"I, umm…" he blushed as he removed his head from his shoulder. "You are a comfortable pillow." he said smiling at Greece. "Heracles-san, what will happen now? What will become of us?" he asked as the smile started to vanish from his face.

Greece looked down at japan and thought about his question for a moment. He felt the answer was painful yet obvious. "For now we could just be friends. There isn't much we can do. Unless you don't want to be around me anymore. I can understand that." he replied. "No!" he almost screamed. "I want to be with you, even if it can't be in that way. I am sorry for how I was, I was out of line." He would always want to be with Greece, he would never want to hurt him, even though today killed that. "I want to always be able to see you smile. I might stay alone for a few days after today, I need to rest, I don't want to become isolated again, I just don't want to be hurt again." "I understand. I would do the same in your position. I'm at least glad we can continue to be friends. You're on of the closest friends I have, Japan," he sighed. Relief washed over him, seeing that the other nation was thinking calmly now, but he still felt a bit worried about him. "And you are my closest friend Greece-san." He had Italy and Germany, but he could only really talk to Greece. "I am sorry for any trouble I have caused you." he bows, he feels very bad for acting the way he did. He caused so many unnecessary problems. "Oh, you didn't cause any trouble for me. It was the truth that had to be told. Please forgive me for hurting you," Greece replied and bowed to Japan as well. He felt it was formal, but necessary.

_What did I do to deserve you?_ He wondered. There was no way he could have had a better friend. He was sad that he wasn't going to be with him, but he was happy he still could be his friend. "We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of love or the pain of regret. The difference is the pain of love scars the heart, while the pain of regret scars the conscience."

"But what if we suffer from both?" the Greek asked. He didn't really mean anything by the question, but for future reference, he wanted to remember his friend's words. "What can be done, then?" "Then that is the worst pain one could have, a burden on the heart and the conscience." he looked up at him wondering what he was thinking. "Do you think it's curable?" the Greek asked as if that was a disease to begin with. "I'm not sure anyone could hold such pain for long."

"Hai, but it depends on the will of the person and the amount of pain." _Is he talking about himself or me?_ He wondered.

"Oh, I see. I will keep that in mind just in case," he smiled. "Do you have any questions for me?" He blushed at what he was thinking, he knew he shouldn't have thought of it, but only one couldn't be bad, right? "I, umm…" "Go ahead and ask me. I don't mind answering anything," he said, giving japan a small pat on the head.

"Could I have one kiss?" he asked like a shy child. Asking for a kiss was bad he knew, but he wanted to feel the Greek's lips against his own once, for he knew he wouldn't have the chance again.

"I knew you probably wouldn't, but I won't have the chance again, so I figured asking wouldn't hurt." he said. He smiled but the pain was still in his eyes_. Not even a kiss from him_. he thought, _I am pathetic._ "You never know, Japan. It might not be me, but you may still receive a kiss. I want to stay faithful to my lover, but as I am aware, I'm not the only patron of Greece." he said, but frown at the thought of Japan kissing one of his brothers. "If you believe we are all interchangeable, then perhaps there is another Greece out there for you, but not me."

"You are the only Greece for me, Heracles-san." he said smiling. "I understand though, you must remain faithful to Turkey-san. He did nothing to deserve unfaithfulness from you. I am glad you are treating him with respect."

"Well… when you put it like that…" Greece groaned rubbing the back of his head. "I honestly wouldn't mind if it wasn't for Turkey. Although, I suppose a small peck wouldn't hurt." he said bending over slightly and closing the distance between him and Japan. He bit his lips as their noses touched. "Are you sure that I'm the only Greece for you?" he whispered.

"Hai, Heracles-san, it wasn't Zeva I fell for or Iraklís, it was you." he blushed because they were so close, he could feel the heat of his face. "Oh, no. I'm not worried about those too," he chuckles. "I know there are more out there, so I want to be sure. I'm the only one, right?" he asked again. He couldn't help his possessive nature and wanted a more satisfying answer.

"Hai, you are the only one, always have been, always will be." he said. He wanted to close the gap between them so bad he had to force himself to stay still.

"Good," he whispered. Greece smiled a satisfied smile and kissed Japan's cheek. "But that's not enough for you is it?" he asked and pressed his lip's against Japan, cupping his cheek. "Better?" he asked as he pulled away. "A little bit" he said blushing and biting his lip. He couldn't believe they had actually kissed. He kissed Heracles, or rather Heracles kissed him. "You know what that means now that we've kissed… don't you?" Greece said with a smirk. "It means you've promised to love only me. I know I shouldn't be unfair, Kiku. I shouldn't want to hurt you like this, but you've made yourself hard to let go of." he said and mentally grounded himself into the depths of hell. This was the last thing he wanted to happen, but he could hardly contain himself.

"So, where does this leave us now?" he said looking at the Greek. "What will happen?" He loved that kiss, he had to admit it.

Greece smiled innocently and patted Japan's head once again. "Nothing changes. We're still friends and I will still be with Turkey. However, if you so much as become close to anyone else, just know that I'll be watching," the Greek man replied. "But, I-I am very confused. What happened?" he asked. This was a different side of Greece he hadn't seen before. "What happened was, you said that I was the only Greece for you so I kissed you. Like a sealed contract, but unfortunately you didn't read the fine print. If you have any other lovers or even get close to that, there will be consequences. Understood?" Greece replied with a smirk plastered to his face as if it were a permanent fixture. "So you are the only one for me? I knew that already." He was happy to have Greece, but was scaring him a little bit. "Wait. A-am I-I your l-lover now?" he asked with a red tint to his face. Greece shook his head and cupped Japan's cheek. "Japan, I've merely branded you as my own. It doesn't work the other way around. Just keep in mind that I know what you're doing at all times and tread carefully," he said, taking his hand away. He could still feel the warmth of where his hand had been. "Heracles-san, what consequences will there be?" "I will make you feel pain. I could kill you, but I'm sure you'll never allow it to come to that," he answered simply.

He was shocked at how calmly he said that. "Good thing I don't want to love anyone but you. Just let me know, will I ever have you to myself, or will I always have to share you?"

"Sharing is caring, Kiku," the Greek said with a carefree smile. He wrapped his arms around the other nation and pulled him into another embrace. He didn't want the Japan to see the nasty smirk on his face. He only wanted to be with Turkey. Japan would probably not get much of his time if at all. "Greece-san, are you using me?" he asked with worry in his heart. "Use you? I wouldn't do such a stupid thing. What could I be using you for?" he asked completely taken back by the idea.

"For anything. I am afraid that I won't be able to see you or even be with you at all." He was afraid that he was being used for some kind of sexual pleasure. Did Greece even want to be with him in a romantic way at all?

"Hm… you are not my lover, but you are still my friend. Our contract holds you from everyone else. So, no, I'm using you, but I want to be sure that you won't fall for anyone else," he sighed. "I am bound to only you, but I cannot have you as my lover." ha simply stated. "I now can't have anyone else in my life, I am okay with that. What I am not okay with not having you with me. I understand that you are with Turkey-san, but I now have no one else to love, you aren't going to be with me a lot." "I'm sorry that you've expected more from me. It's not something I can give, but if you want, we could spend more time with each other. It's not the problem. Just come and find me." Greece said as he let go of Japan again.

"What if you are with Sadiq-san?" he asked wondering if he could ever be alone with him again.

"Hm… if I'm with Turkey then I'm not with you. It's as simple as that, but don't worry. I'll make time for you," he smiled. "Will you, do you promise me that you will make time for me?" he asked, he wanted to see him more. "I promise," he replied as he patted Japan's head. He intended to keep that promise as long as he could keep a good friend by his side. "Good, I don't want to lose you. I have lost an almost lover and gained a close friend who kissed me." he blushed thinking about the kiss. "Heracles-san?" "Yes? Is there something else you want from me?" he chuckled. "One last kiss?" he asked looking away from Greece. Just one more before next time they meet. Greece was shocked by the request and rubbed the back of his head. "Fine, one more, but that's all," he said. He wanted to believe they were just friendly kisses, but he liked kissing Japan's soft lips. Leaning in, he gave Japan a small, quick peck on the lips. He smiled, "Thank you Heracles-san. If you are the only one I can be with then these kisses will keep me happy." "Ah… thank you, Japan," he said blushing slightly. He had too much of a soft spot for Japan that even his dark side couldn't disagree with. "Why are you thanking me? I haven't done anything." he asked slightly confused. "For being so… understanding," the Greek said making sure that he worded his thoughts correctly.

"I understand that I am only able to love you, which is who I wanted to love. I don't like is that I have to share you." he said with a hint of pain in his voice. "But I will have to deal with that won't I?"

"I'm sorry, there isn't anything I can do about that," Greece replied. In truth, there was one or two things he could do, but he wasn't willing to go there. "Nothing at all? I would love to have you to myself." he said with, what tried to be, a sexy grin. He would do almost anything to get Greece to not have more than one person to love. "I-I understand that you would, but some things just can't be helped. What can you do, right?" Greece stammered. He couldn't help but take notice of japan's expression. It seemed like the tables suddenly turned on him. "I want to be able to love you and not have to hide it from Turkey-san. Is there nothing I could do?" He got closer to Greece, he wasn't comfortable doing this, but he loved him. "Uhm…" the Greek instinctively moved away from him. "I d-don't think there is. I mean, I really want to be with Turkey. It's kind of a personal choice, you know?" he said with a sheepish laugh.

He wasn't getting anywhere with this. He wanted to get get closer, but he would just move away again. "I really can't make you be with me, can I? What is it Turkey-san does? What is it that he has that I don't?"

"He… He…" Heracles began to say, but couldn't figure out the right words. He kept wondering why Japan would even ask such a thing. "I don't have to hold back when I'm with him. He understands me." "You hold back when you are with me?" he asked wondering why he would do that. Did he not trust him? Does he not understand Heracles? "I'm not a good person, Kiku. I can become very violent and he can take all that. That's just one of the things that I don't want to show you. I don't want to hurt you," he sighed.

He couldn't tell him that by doing this it is hurting him. "I want to be there for you, I want to be there when you are having a hard time."

"It's not so much a hard time, but I lose control sometimes. I don't want to wake up one day with you laying on the floor covered in blood. Turkey can take anything and he is the same to me. We understand each other on that level and we struggle together," Greece sighed. "I can get stronger, I can change!" He would change for him, he would become stronger if he must. He could try. "Japan, you don't understand how dangerous it is. You're already strong, but you're just not Turkey. you don't understand how horrible I can be and I don't want you to have to feel that." he protested. "You are hurting me, to not hurt me." He understood what he meant, but he still wanted to try. He wanted to try to help him if he could. "I mean… I'm hurting you… I don't want you half dead!" he exclaimed. Greece turned away and placed his head in his hands. Why did every thing have to be so difficult? "I know, but I want to be with you!" he said. He didn't know how bad Greece could be, but he knew that he was a strong country he could be very dangerous if he wanted to be. Greece teared up upon hearing Japan's outburst. It was bad enough not being with someone you love and hurting them, but this… this was something else. "And what would you do if you found me bloody and beaten one day? What if I was dying because someone assaulted me. How would you handle that. I've done things I'm not proud of, but I can't drag you into everything that I know you shouldn't be handling in the first place!" he cried. "I would heal you. I would make you feel better. I would make sure you were okay. I would want to give you everything you needed. I want you to be safe in my arms at the end of day." he said, he wanted Greece to know it was okay. He was crying and the tears didn't want to stop. Why did every one hurt him in some way? "You'd give me so much, but even if we were together, I don't think I could. I'm sorry," he said, still refusing to turn around. He didn't want Japan to see him in tears. He was weak. He went up to the Greek and hugged him. "I really can't change your mind, can I?" Greece calmed down a little in Japan's embrace. "Not now. I'm sorry. I don't know if it will ever happen, but definitely not now…." "I am sorry." "It's okay. If it's meant to be then it will happen," he replied as he wiped his tears away.

"Please don't cry." He didn't want to see him so sad.

"What? I'm not crying. How could you think I was crying?" he sniffled. "Because if I were you I would be crying." he knew he must be in pain. "Greece-san, would it be easier if you just forgot about me?" "But you're not me and I am fine," he mumbled. "I don't want to forget about you, Japan. Don't say that."

"Everything would be easier that way." he knew it was true.

"Easy things aren't always best, Japan," he laughed. "You wouldn't have to choose. You wouldn't have to leave Turkey-san. It would hurt me some, but you would be better." Japan said smiling. "But where would that leave us?" "It wouldn't, there wouldn't be an 'us'." Saying that hurt him in a way he didn't think possible. "I don't want it to be true, but you cannot take much more of this." Greece shook his head. This wasn't what he wanted at all. He wanted his friend. But it almost seemed like Japan was determined to erase that. Turning around to face the other nation he replied, "If that's your decision I will respect it. I can handle myself just fine, but if you want to throw away our friendship too, then it's up to you." "I really don't," he said in tears, "but it seems that it is easier for you that way." He really didn't want this to happen. "If you don't then you don't. Trust yourself and don't fight it. It only brings more pain to both of us," he said.

"What are we to do Heracles-san? After today I have wanted to be with you more, but I have learned we cannot be. No one can win this game." Japan said.

"Then it isn't a game is it? It's a dead end, Japan. An isolated island and we're stuck here forever. Let's just leave it that way," Greece replied. An isolated island with Greece sounded nice, just the two of them, no one else. "So, nothing happens?" "Nothing at all," he replied. He sat down and pulled japan with him. It was a nice day for a nap, no? He rested his head on the Greek's shoulder. _Nothing happens_. "This is odd, such an emotional day, but nothing comes of it, nothing." "Yeah… nothing…" the Greek responded, already falling asleep. He held Japan close to him, not wanting to let go.

A tear fell, he embraced being held, he loved it. He heard the soft breathing of Greece who was sleeping.


End file.
